i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
