after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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