I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You ate ashes out of my bong
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
