we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
