This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
