we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
