i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
honey bunches of taint.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize