I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
whose ass print is on the piano?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
