hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
