All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
