i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
