K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize