well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Randomize