So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't deserve a penis
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
pray to the hookup gods
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
