I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
