I wanna bring you to show and tell
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
