I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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