the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
