my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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