True but thats because hes a fetus.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
