How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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