Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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