who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
