This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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