Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
