i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
