his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
