there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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