i used baking grease as lip gloss
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
