oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize