She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Your penis caused this!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
