I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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