her vagine was all disorganized.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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