Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
