I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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