No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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