I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
