Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Your penis caused this!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
