I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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