So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
