You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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