They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
