i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
