i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
