I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
