We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want nice things and good sex
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
