I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
