So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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