Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She said her name was "party"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
