I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
