id be glad to
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I have already put on my inside pants.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
