i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
fuck your aforementioned shoe
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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