My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
