i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
