Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize