sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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