Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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