considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Are we still banned from the library?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize