NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
