I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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