Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
