Whod you bang
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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