just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
