cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
