what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
