No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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