I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
